Living 'in the And'

Staying centered in the midst of chaos

This is chaos.

We all know it, we all feel it, and it’s by design. Why? Because they’re betting the relentless cruelty and assault on normalcy will leave us panicked, hopeless, and either afraid to take action or actively sticking our heads in the sand.

And although I’ve talked a lot about consuming the news in a balanced way, when the US started this war and then floated the idea of a draft, my balance was destroyed. I started finding out everything I could about the war, following the minute by minute updates, and talking with other people online about the audacity of even uttering the word “draft.” As a mother with a 22 year old son, it’s all I could think about. My son called me about it, tearful and alarmed. I told him he’s not going anywhere.

This frenetic sense of panic lasted for days, because it isn’t just about the war. It’s the continuing ICE attacks in Minnesota and now Vermont, the unending fight against environment-destroying AI data centers popping up across the country’s rural communities (ours included), and now Ohio bill HB754, which is a proposed law to mandate that all pregnancies be recorded and monitored at the state level at detection of the first heartbeat.

And I realized as this was happening that I couldn’t practice balance the same way I have been. Things are happening so fast now and some of them demand urgent action on our part, so checking in once or twice a week isn’t necessarily the right strategy if we want to save our democracy and way of life. But we can’t live our lives focused on the Trump show 💯of the time (and let’s face it, that’s what he wants), so how can we do this? What does balance and sanity look like right now?

Thinking about this brought me back to a concept I’ve talked about a lot with my clients, and that’s ‘living in the and.’

In the past few days I’ve found that it’s possible to live my life without feeling like I’m two separate people: one Lori who’s going about her day meeting with clients, making products, studying, feeding Stevie and the pigs, and cooking dinner, and another Lori who’s watching our democracy implode in real time and considering moving to another country.

See, throughout those days when I was doomscrolling, posting updates, and losing my shit, I forgot that’s exactly what they want. And I was so upset that I ended up losing my center. When I’m centered, I know that the hurricane can be swirling around me but I can live in the eye of that hurricane. The eye is calm. From there I can live my life and experience joy WHILE being aware of threats to my family and our way of life. I can spend time on the trail, work, create, and caretake while making measured, deliberate decisions and taking action toward those goals. And that action is based on what I control, because it’s pointless to worry about what’s out of my control.

Since I realized this, I’ve come back to center…to the eye of the storm. I’m living in the and. I’m enjoying my herbal apprenticeship AND keeping track of what’s happening in this country. I’m doing laundry AND making appropriate plans for the future should certain things happen. I’m grocery shopping AND I’m talking with my kids and trying to realistically allay their fears. I’m paying for groceries AND I’m making donations to organizations fighting this regime. I’m posting about my beautiful soaps and my new face & body cream AND I’m posting about current events. I’m making plans for a hike with my husband AND I’m making plans to attend a protest. I’m calling my grandkids AND I’m calling my state representatives.

I know how debilitated many of us feel right now, but to me our way forward is clear:

-Live in the and.

-Control what you can by taking action.

-Stick together.

-Refuse to lose hope.

Keep going. Keep fighting. Stay strong. 💚

Lori